New Financial Definitions

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mf_sk
Príspevky: 43
Dátum registrácie: Po 25 02, 2008 8:15 pm
Bydlisko: Bratislava

New Financial Definitions

Príspevok od používateľa mf_sk »

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

BOND — Paid by CEOs to secure their place at a trial.

401K — The number of years it will take taxpayers to pay off the Bailout Plan.

BUY AND HOLD — Antiquated investment philosophy, recently replaced by BUY AND FOLD.
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Lobista
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Príspevky: 1127
Dátum registrácie: Ne 16 12, 2007 11:46 pm
Bydlisko: Bratislava

Re: New Financial Definitions

Príspevok od používateľa Lobista »

lol, to je fakt dobre :D :D :D
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